You Will Thank Me: Bacon Butternut Linguine

Happy Friday, all! [Aside: God, I feel like a chump for writing that, clichéd as the acronym TGIF is, but it’s the truth, OK? I am really/truly glad it’s the weekend.] Uh, anyway, I had a hella productive day, Xing items from my to-do list with grace & style. Imagine Uma Thurman in Kill Bill. Imagine me Xing things from my list. The images are comparable.

One of the more productive things I did was hack a recipe sent me by sis. The recipe appeared originally in Taste of Home magazine; the dish looked tasty, if a bit bland. (If you’re inclined, you can view the recipe for Roasted Butternut Linguine here.) Salt & pepper as the only seasonings? Hell, no. I went Garky on this recipe’s ass and helped it fulfill its tru potential.

One note: I like foods with a lot of heat. If you don’t, omit some of the pepper from the following recipe.

Bacon Butternut Linguine


  • 4-5 cups peeled, cubed Butternut squash
  • One red onion, roughly chopped
  • Two strips of bacon, cut into lardons
  • Olive oil
  • Salt
  • Fresh-ground black pepper
  • Crushed red pepper flakes
  • White pepper
  • Linguine
  • Two cloves garlic, minced
  • One tablespoon minced fresh sage
  • One bunch rainbow chard


  1. Preheat oven to 350. In a bowl, combine squash, onion, and bacon. Coat with olive oil and season with salt and peppers. Transfer ingredients to a baking dish and bake for 45-55 minutes, or until squash is tender. Stir mixture occasionally during cooking.
  2. As the squash mixture cooks, wash the chard and chop it into thin ribbons. Sautee the chard, garlic, and sage in a bit of olive oil in a large skillet. Remove from heat and set aside.
  3. When the squash mixture is about 10 minutes from being cooked, boil water for pasta. Cook linguine according to directions, drain, and set aside.
  4. Once the squash mixture is cooked, remove it from the oven and combine it with the chard (heating over a low flame, if necessary). Add the drained linguine to the skillet, incorporating ingredients well. Plate and serve!



2 responses to “You Will Thank Me: Bacon Butternut Linguine

  1. #TRU!

    Also, sorry we missed you last night: we were #2drunk by the time you texted 😉 And that’s the way the cookie crumbles!

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